Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Transworld Snowboarding's Shrediquette

This is basically the constitution, the bible, the ten (well 66) commandments of snowboarding. Follow these rules whenever you hit the slopes in order to be respected as a "real" snowboarder... ;-)

Shrediquette Master List:
Rule 1: Never call last run.
Rule 2: A speed check is still a speed check, even if you call it a setup turn.
Rule 3: More flair = less ability.
Rule 4: Only news anchors use the nickname “Flying Tomato.”
Rule 5: You can always go faster.
Rule 6: Your board and shoulder should never make contact on the walk to the slopes.
Rule 7: “Dropping next” only goes one rider deep–there is no “dropping after next.”
Rule 8: One pair of long johns per season is perfectly acceptable. Not washing that pair is not.
Rule 9: All sports by definition are action sports.
Rule 10: Dropping names dilutes your slope cred by 50 percent.
Rule 11: Self-respecting snowboarders never refer to themselves or snowboarding as “extreme.”
Rule 12: Snow reports are always measured where the snowdrifts are the deepest.
Rule 13: Always subtract two inches for every six reported on a resort’s snow phone.
Rule 14: It’s never cool to one-up your homey.
Rule 15: Don’t steal from snowboarders.
Rule 16: There’s a fine line between being really funny and really annoying in the liftline.
Rule 17: Getting slashed is good luck, so don’t get bummed.
Rule 18: Going snowboarding on opening day regardless of the conditions will increase your odds of scoring powder that season.
Rule 19: Every shop has at least one guy that’ll vibe the shit out of you.
Rule 20: If you didn’t help build it, don’t hit it.
Rule 21: Hike. It’ll always be worth it.
Rule 22: Keep your first-chair accomplishments to yourself.
Rule 23: Never say you’re sick of powder.
Rule 24: Riding in the rain is always more fun than it sounds.
Rule 25: Don’t feel embarrassed about dressing up in all your gear in your bedroom in August.
Rule 26: Only piss off of the chairlift if you’re riding up alone.
Rule 27: Never ride in the trees without goggles–stick in eyeball, not fun.
Rule 28: Don’t let the waxing iron smoke.
Rule 29: Always pick up hitchhikers carrying snowboards.
Rule 30: Scraping wax off your board and onto the snow is bad. Wax off into the trash.
Rule 31: If it hurts to walk, don’t go ride.
Rule 32: Ignorance to snowboard fashion is a virtue.
Rule 33: Be cool to the groms, soon they will school you.
Rule 34: Don’t lean on the shovel, dig?
Rule 35: Remember-man strength sets in at 30. You ain’t done yet.
Rule 36: Have some dignity: ollie the “Slow” sign only if you know you can clear it.
Rule 37: You’ll never regret taking one more run, unless you actually call “last run.”
Rule 38: If you’re hooked up, hook up your homeys.
Rule 39: Bitter localism is for surfers. Ride past the tourists with your mouth shut.
Rule 40: Excuses are for the unoriginal. A spot isn’t played until every last trick has been done there. Keep at it.
Rule 41: If you borrow a friend’s board, don’t change the stance.
Rule 42: If Ski Patrol chases you, don’t get caught.
Rule 43: If Ski Patrol catches you, act sorry.
Rule 44: A snowboard lesson is the greatest gift one can give a newcomer.
Rule 45: Don’t smash skulls with the safety bar on the lift. Call it first.
Rule 46: Focus on the goal. For example, only stand in the liftline if you want to get on the lift.
Rule 47: Wearing your shred gear in the bar past midnight will increase your Core Score.
Rule 48: However, Core Score points will be deducted for wearing just your goggles.
Rule 49: Locals, don’t hate–the tourists leave lots of money where you live.
Rule 50: Don’t bite. Be your own snowboarder. Imitation is flattering, but everyone will be more impressed if you’ve got your own style.
Rule 51: Don’t post your sponsor-me videos online and then cry when it gets bagged on.
Rule 52: If you hear someone say, “Dropping!” pretend you didn’t hear and go.
Rule 53: Nobody else on the tram cares what happened to you last night.
Rule 54: Littering on the hill is asking for the slam of your life.
Rule 55: Don’t hit up a shop employee for advice and then buy it online.
Rule 56: Support your local snowboard shop. It’s more important now than ever.
Rule 57: If you see a pro rider on the hill, don’t ask them to give you something.
Rule 58: Never hit the big jump first run.
Rule 59:Wait for pedestrians using the stairs and handrails to pass, then drop in.
Rule 60: Your opinion on helmets only matters if you’re wearing one.
Rule 61: Simply scraping your board sideways is not turning.
Rule 62: Leave tissue at the lift line. Save a tree and blow snot rockets instead.
Rule 63: Snake and be snaked.
Rule 64: Tindy and tailfish don’t count. Get a grip.
Rule 65: Know your limits: backing down from a jump or hit is wisdom, not cowardice.
Rule 66: If you plan on couch surfing, come bearing gifts.